Speaking of Courage

In this chapter there's a lot of "ifs" and "would'ves" and could'ves." The war is over and Norman Bowker is home and has no idea what to do with himself. He wants to tell his story about how he "almost" earned the Silver Star for valor but he doesn't. He feels that he he didn't have enough courage but really he did for being able to endure the war and come out alive. The title is ironic in the way that he didn't earned the medal for valor, that he wasn't brave enough to pull Kiowa out of the "shit fields." He fills his time at home by driving around and thinking  of what might happen if things would go they do in his head but it doens't mean anything because what happened has happened. He develops these stories about could happen because he is ashamed in a way that he didn't receive that medal. He wants to believe in it enough so that it comes true. It's his way of filling his home life now with the war he has become a part of.